The terror of knowing what this world is about

Under pressure

As I write this note my wife Betty begins her seventh day as a patient in Martha’s Vineyard hospital, diagnosed with pneumonia (among other things). Yesterday about a cup of fluid was surgically removed from her lungs.

This episode is only the most recent in a string of health challenges and insults that go back about a decade and include a massive, near-fatal pulmonary embolism, three unsuccessful spinal fusion surgeries on her lower back, one spinal fusion surgery on her neck, one fractured hip (resulting from being slammed by our dog Spot), two emergency helicopter flights from Martha’s Vineyard to Boston, stints in rehabilitation hospitals, physical and occupational therapy, and years of chronic pain. For starters.

Other members of our family for whom I have medical or financial responsibility have had different but comparable challenges over these same years.

Sometimes these responsibilities, and the stress that goes with them, have diminished my productivity as a writer — both work for hire, and work on my on projects like Sundman figures it out! and my novel(la)s.

As a result my financial situation has reach a point of crisis that is, frankly, terrifying, and so I have, today, very late and with great reluctance, launched a Gofundme campaign. It contains more of the details of how we got here — things which I would much rather have kept private, but what cha gonna do?

If you would like to help us out but are not up for Gofundme,

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Longtime readers of Sundman figures it out! have seen reference to a certain unnamed molecular biologist with a great figure. I’m not going to comment on that biologist’s identity, but here’s a story about my wife Betty & her decades of unpaid work addressing food insecurity on Martha’s Vineyard.

And here is Under Pressure, by Queen and David Bowie:

"Under Pressure"

Mmm num ba de
Dum bum ba be
Doo buh dum ba beh beh

Pressure: pushing down on me
Pressing down on you, no man ask for
Under pressure that burns a building down
Splits a family in two
Puts people on streets

Um ba ba be
Um ba ba be
De day da
Ee day da

That's OK

That's the terror of knowing
What this world is about
Watching some good friends screaming
"Let me out!"

Tomorrow gets me higher
Pressure on people, people on streets

Day day de mm hm
Da da da ba ba
OK

Chippin' around, kick my brains 'round the floor
These are the days: it never rains but it pours

Ee do ba be
Ee da ba ba ba
Um bo bo
Be lap

People on streets
Ee da de da de
People on streets
Ee da de da de da de da

It's the terror of knowing
What this world is about
Watching some good friends screaming
"Let me out!"

Tomorrow gets me higher, higher, high!
Pressure on people, people on streets

Turned away from it all like a blind man
Sat on a fence, but it don't work
Keep coming up with love, but it's so slashed and torn

Why, why, why!?

Love, love, love, love, love

Insanity laughs under pressure
We're breaking

Can't we give ourselves one more chance?
Why can't we give love that one more chance?
Why can't we give love, give love, give love, give love, give love, give love, give love, give love, give love?

'Cause love's such an old-fashioned word
And love dares you to care for the people on the edge of the night
And love dares you to change our way of caring about ourselves
This is our last dance
This is our last dance
This is ourselves

Under pressure
Under pressure
Pressure